We Live in a Rape Culture

...i'm starting to get that creepy feeling...the one i felt at college parties when, during a lull in conversation, or a moment when the cd was changing, some moron said something like, "i knew this guy who got anally probed," and would wait for someone else to latch on to the comment so everyone involved could ponder the depths of anal probing...what usually happened was a general migration away from said moron, a looking anywhere but in his direction, a mental note not to get trapped on the balcony or next to him in the bathroom line...invariably, though, this moron couldn't gauge the body language of the crowd and would move onto another small cluster where he could mention anal probing again until someone would take him up on the conversation and he could elaborate and reveal that he was the one who'd been probed or done the probing and was looking for acceptance since he actually, really, liked it...

...no one at the party would've voted that moron into public office...

...it's been thirteen years since those days, yet each time i turn on the television or read an article online i'm faced with older versions of those party morons...except now they're politicians...who, somehow, joined the republican ticket...and they're using their platforms to define rape...specifically the 300,000 women who are raped each year in america...they don't mention the 93,000 men who are raped or the 248,000 sexual assaults that happen each year...they also discount the 9.2% of american children who're sexually abused each year...all they seem to be focused on are young women who dare to go for a drink after work...

...something about the way these politicians classify rape makes me feel like they're a little too intimate with the knowledge of each category they work to define...it's like they want to talk about it so they can punch each other in the arms and assure themselves there's not a former co-ed somewhere who didn't press charges when their date got out of hand...

...qualifying rape is like qualifying paralysis--it's done, it's damaging...the how is not the issue...here's the issue: we live in a culture where over-confident politicians are quick to victimize and justify the aggressor...they're sickening...and frightening...

...my ears burn each time i hear "rape" presumably because i'm a woman, complicated by the fact that my father was a serial rapist...i come to the defense of victimized women and live with the very real fear that i--or one of my relatives--could be raped...it's a fate worse than death to live with the anger, fear, frustration, and shame that are part of the aftermath of rape...and our culture treats raped women like pariahs or side show attractions, as if rape weren't so common that five women will be violated in the time it takes to read this blog...

...there's a basic principle my daughter puts into practice in her pre-k class...each day she's encouraged to "make good choices"...many male politicians are rushing to classify, qualify, and justify a rapist's poor, hateful choice...

 ...instead of qualifying rape, politicians should recognize the real problem: we live in a rape culture...i'm sure i don't need to remind anyone of the Sabine women, of the rush of "civilized cultures" to rape their way into power...our country was founded on the rape of land...we continue to rape the earth of her natural resources and call it "survival"...if rape wasn't so ingrained in our culture there'd be no reason to flood college campuses with emergency call boxes and rape defense courses...i wouldn't live in a world where, just last night as i walked to my car through the campus parking lot, i found myself in-step with another woman who held her keys in her fist...when i smiled and acknowledge her weapon she shrugged and said, "never can be too careful"...we struck up a conversation all the way to our cars...strength in numbers, though we didn't say it...

...in the cases where a pregnancy is the result of the rape, women under a republican regime may soon be treated even more unjustly...25,000 rapes result in pregnancy each year, and party-going morons are attempting to take away what little control traumatized women have over their damaged bodies...they'd like to kibosh the right to a safe medical procedure (except in the fictional cases listed above)...

...when i was in second grade i found the old OED in a musty back corner of my small town's one-room library...i opened it and looked for the word that had come to dominate my household for months...the definition was clear: "the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse"...the large book went on to define rape as "any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person"...even in fourth grade i knew what rape wasn't... 

...i encourage you all to read more about rape culture AND VOTE AGAINST IT...here are some links to get you started:

Shauna Prewitt: Raped, Pregnant and Ordeal Not Over

Force: Upsetting Rape Culture

The Sexist

How Widespread is Campus Rape?

The Nation: Ending Rape Illiteracy