Rules for My Future Self

...i'm still high on the fumes of the SWWC...i've reached the last stretch of the memoir-in-progress...the manuscript currently tips the scales at 406 pages and my outline calls for at least three more chapters...yes, the time i spent in Rome was well-spent...

...the camaraderie of other women writers--different ages, backgrounds, cultures, and religions (yes, they weren't all born and raised southern baptists)--has lead me to ponder the type of woman i want to be in my late-30's and 40's...i've had some pretty bad role models when it comes to this demographic...especially after last year's debacle with a 40 something woman whose actions convinced me all women in their 40's were spoiled little girls who played at being demure but were really evil, manipulative, barren she-cats...i'm so elated to have my faith in womanhood, in sisterhood, restored...

...still on that high, and in the spirit of Gretchen Rubin's "Rules for Adulthood" (if you haven't read The Happiness Project, do yourself a favor, get a copy and start your own Project), i've come up with a list of rules for my future self...

Rules for My Forties

1. Continue to dye your hair and use face cream: though face-lifts are not en vogue among the writing community, neither is looking your age...this goes out of fashion somewhere around age 16...you want people to see the vitality you carry on the inside, so project it on the outside

2. Continue to garden, though ask for gardening advice sparingly: if you're in your forties and don't know how to care for the lawn, plant flowers appropriate to the environment, or winterize your shrubs, you're just plain pathetic

3.  When surrounded by women who're smarter, prettier, or more talented than you--and there will be many many many---remember to swallow your jealousy and value their words and opinions, refuse to judge them, and embrace the new ideas they present...no matter how naive they may seem, they've gotten to where they are for a reason

4. Be sure to keep your patronizing comments in check: you won't know, nor could you possibly comprehend, the experiences of other people, but experience has taught you that those who consider themselves superior--and constantly voice that superiority--are usually the most character-poor people in the world

5. Quit taking in cats: having 1, 2, or 3 is okay, but when your house is occupied by more four-legged creatures than two-legged it's time to reevaluate your grasp on reality

here i am in my twenties with two college pals...

no, this was not a costume...

we actually thought we were cool in those overalls...

i'm hoping for better things as i mature (somewhat gracefully)...

6.  If you find yourself longing for your misspent youth, instead of attending a NIN concert, call someone who knew you during your twenties and have a good laugh about yourself

7.  Love your child: hug, kiss, tickle, praise...that's your legacy at the end of this crazy road...the days are long, but the years are short (thanks, GR)

8. When you get down on yourself--there will be many many many of these days--look to yourself for happiness instead of lashing out at the women in #3

9. Do one thing each day you've never done before: getting caught in a routine is not only dangerous to the people around you who'll bear the brunt of your stagnation, it's downright boring...what will you write about if you just quit living?

10. Dress appropriately...and by this i mean, don't dress as if you're a decade older than you are...reserve the kitten heeled pumps and tulip skirts for a time (maybe in your seventies) when you want to look like you're on your way to a bridge tourney