11.04.2014

It's Election Day...So Why Am I At Work?

...so i voted in my first election when i was eight...technically, my vote didn't count (thank the gods because i simply checked all of the republican candidates' boxes the way Grandma told me to) but i was hooked on politics at that point...during every election, Grandma volunteered to run the polls...and at every election, i was there with her...

...neither one cares about you...
...both are completely fine with allowing the universe to collapse...
...i don't understand why today isn't a national holiday...i mean, we still celebrate columbus and he was a slave-owning miscreant whose own crew mutinied (three different times)...he was brought back to europe in chains...he couldn't have navigated his way out of a palace hedge maze and he thought natives were animals who should be brought back to "civilization" in cages...but, hey, close the banks...

...seriously...here's a way to get more people to the polls: HOLIDAY!

...turn this time into a four-day weekend...that way americans can vacation, shop, and overeat...and, perhaps, squeeze in a vote...